Jim Harbaugh, Kelce-Swift, the ‘Tush Push’ and 25 New Rules for Thanksgiving Family Touch Football

The whole gang’s here, and the turkey is in the oven. It’s time for some dropped balls and sprained ankles.

Illustration by Scott Pollack
Jason Gay

Nov. 22, 2023 12:00 am ET

This is the 13th edition (!) of The Rules for Thanksgiving Family Touch Football, and yes: I’m as surprised as you that this party is still going. This annual column has outlasted most NFL coaching careers, a global pandemic, Quibi, CNN+, Mikes Bloomberg and Pence for President, and anyone caring about NFTs. It’s older than both of my children, and doesn’t groan when I ask it to stop playing Minecraft and unload the dishwasher, either. 

As always, I am thankful for you. Truly. Let’s get to it: 

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